thoughts on love, the lord and the beauty that surrounds us

• I have a running commentary continually happening in my brain. It's like my very own talk show that is playing on an endless loop. Sometimes I can control it, sometimes I can't. Who needs therapy when it all happens right up there. I argue, debate and many times come to a wonderful conclusion like today!
• When all is well like today and I'm out on my bike enjoying the beautiful weather, listening to tunes as I ride its much like my very own soundtrack to the movie that is my life. A buddy of mine turned me on to listening to music while riding my motorcycle and at first I thought it strange...mainly since my buddy Chris listens to music much of his life...during work, driving, eating, sleeping (I wonder if the headphones come off during sex?) oh there goes the running commentary again. (shh, I'm writing here).
• There is so much beauty out there. God has taken his brush and painted such a beautiful world for us. This is for us. There is no other explanation is there. It could all just be happenstance I suppose. It could just be a grand "mistake". But does that really make sense to you? Why this beautiful earth? Why such beauty? It didn't have to be THIS beautiful did it. Does evolution explain beauty? Do we need it to survive? I don't think so. Can you imagine the love of a creator that took the time to create the heavens? HE could have just put 1000 stars in the sky...there really isn't any "need" for more is there? This is for US...do you understand that? This is a love letter from God for us...to show us how much he loves us...we are such simple fools...we have no concept of Love...love for us is really want. I love bc I want. If you stop loving me, than I really have no use for you. (For God so loved the world). What is love. Is love beauty? Did God really have to make women so beautiful? I see no "reason" for this. We could be just like the animals and have our desires take over and twice a year come into heat and do our thing...wouldn't that work? Wouldn't that be enough to keep humans alive? But no...God gave us beauty...beauty has not explanation...it is an emotion. It has no relevance in evolutions. We don't need beauty. We just need lust, desire. That's enough to keep us all going isn't it. But why beauty? A women like a dog could be just 'available' and if we were programed that would be enough. But no...God said...I Love you Man, and I want to present to you....(drum roll)..tah dah...Wo man. And she will be pleasing to your eyes. She is my present to you. Treat her well. Love her. Cherish her. Because she is a gift. All women are beautiful. Every one. Some more on the outside, some more on the inside, but everyone is beautiful. It's our job to see it. Did anyone see that lady on "England's got talent"? She was one of the most unattractive ladies you've seen. She comes out on stage and everyone starts to laugh...the judges can hardly contain themselves. They ask her why she's here. She says that she there to be a star. They ask her why she hasn't been a star before this (as she is a bit advanced in her age to be a star) and she replies..."because I haven't been given a chance"...chuckle, chuckle. Than she opens her mouth and sings. It is a voice from God. It is pure beauty. Nobody has seen it before, but its been there all along. Once she start singing, the audience erupts! Many are crying, the judges stare in disbelief...there is an angel before them and that's all they see is pure beauty. Nobody sees ugly anymore...her beauty shines forth. God shines forth. Its always been there but nobody took the time to look. Afterward she is interviewed and says that she has never been kissed...not once. Hundreds of men write her saying they would love to kiss her. She is a beauty...as she has always been, but now WE see what God has always seen. "For God so loved the world".
  
• What is love? Some love, like God's love is unconditional, but most love isn't is it? The closet thing to unconditional love that God has given us I suppose is our love for our children. We seem to love them as soon as they are placed in our arms. Really have they "earned" our love yet? Have they performed for us, brought us the remote when we are being lazy? Kicked the winning goal to prove how great a parent we are? All they seem to do, really, is just arrive. Yet we love this little pile of poo with all our hearts...I think that is the closest to understanding God's love, our love of our children, esp. when they first arrive. There is really no logical reason that we love this person (possibly more from the mother since it was 'part' of her for 9 months, but really, is that any reason to truly love that child?), I don't think so. Has evolution ever explained that? I can understand wanting to take care of a newborn baby, to protect is bc it is so needs us. But is there any "reason" to love it? That must come from God doesn't it. Do you think that it is God's way of giving us just a glimpse of his love? "For God so loved (you and me) that he gave (allowed to be killed) his only son (Jesus) to forgive all our sins...to save us" John 3:16 (paraphrased). Can we even imagine this kind of love...does that mean that God loved US more than his Son? Of course not b/c God can not love MORE, bc that means that God could love LESS and God is only LOVE...that's it, just LOVE...it's more than we an even imagine.
  
• hat I looking for.I've been experiencing just a glimpse of God's love and I have to say, it's pretty intoxicating. I don't understand it, but I know that I love it and I can't get enough of it. Everybody is looking for love. The Beatles claim that "...all you need is love" and I don't think that anybody would really disagree with that. I guess the question is "what love" do we need? How about the love of a beautiful women...do we "need" that? We crave it...but is it satisfying? Does it take care of our "needs". How about our job...that is satisfying isn't it? Our children...that is truly satisfying, right...but does it FILL our needs, does it truly give us what we are looking for? I'm not sure...bc as humans we are continually looking, searching for that next "fix" that next high, that next love, aren't we? Why is that, why are we so unfulfilled? Why do we keep searching? Maybe it's because "...I still haven't found what I'm looking for.." What are we looking for...we have our women, sex, job, children...yet have we "found what we're looking for"? Maybe it's bc we still are searching for LOVE. We seem to find love in our women, children, job, drugs, friends etc...but we keep searching, don't we...it's never enough. Maybe it's bc its not true LOVE...not fulfilling LOVE. It's imperfect love. Why is that...? Maybe its bc we don't know "how to love"...we have no clue. We try, we truly do. We do love our spouse. We do love our children...dog...job...but it's not enough. We keep searching, searching.
  
• "For God so LOVED the world..." How could he have loved, yet sacrificed his "only begotten Son"...how is that LOVE? To allow your only Son to be killed. Doesn't sound very loving to me. How can we comprehend that kind of Love??? How? Is this truly "the ends justify the means?".
  
• Since I have let God love me...allowed him to truly love me, I have been fulfilled in a way that I have never been before. He has filled the "Jesus Whole" in my sole. I've tried to fill it with many things...drugs, wife, children, sex...yet I keep wanting more...it's never fulfilling...why? Maybe it's time to have my desires filled with the only "true love" that is out there. We don't know how to love. Yet God does. When we are filled with HIS love, than all other love is satisfying...bc whether or not the one that we are with knows "how" to love doesn't really matter. BC I'm fulfilled with HIS love. My spouse will ALWAYS give less than I want, my children will always fall short of my expectations, my job will always screw me, my friends will always desert me in the end...what do I have to rely on...? Maybe its as simply as God's love...the only thing that has been there all along. I love you Lord. I trust you Lord. "Pour your sugar on me" Lord...I will always love you bc you first loved me. Love Jardin